Hello, moviegoers! Today I am here to introduce Mortal Kombat, a film based on a videogame franchise of the same name.
I must say that, from the get go, I was expecting nothing from this film. For one, videogame movies are atrociously bad. On the other hand, I hate remakes and would rather see their creators tied up to posts and flailed with chainsaw chains for their horrific deeds.
And this is another point against Mortal Kombat 2021: It is a remake of Mortal Kombat 1995.
I usually try to judge films on their own merits and avoid comparisons with the films that influenced them. I think movies should be considered good or bad for their quality and not their standing regarding others. Still, the comparison is more tempting than an apple pie with chocolate served by a busty farmgirl, so
I am going to sin very hard in this review. For reference: Mortal Kombat 1995 was a goofy, not very serious movie, with so-so special effects (for its time), so-so plot and a cast that ranged from ok to OMG_THAT_IS_HORRIBLE. Still, it was somehow enjoyable as long as you had taken a few shots of Jack Daniels before sitting to watch it. The main reason is that it didn't give you the chance to get bored. The bottom line: Mortal Kombat 1995 was not horrible but was improveable, to say the least.
I think there are not many legit reasons to produce a movie remake. The only reason I _respect_ is acknowledging that a movie that had potential fell short by miles, and trying to make a version of it that gets right what the old one didn't. Most remakes are made by morons who take a movie that was already great, thinking they can make a better one, and make a fool of themselves eventually. However, Mortal Kombat 1995 was _begging_ for a remake since it was ok, but it was clear it could have been so much, much more.
So while I was expecting Mortal Kombat 2021 to be an utter pile of utter stinky utter crap, at least I respected the circumsptances under which it was created.
So, let's talk about the movie itself.
Mortal Kombat 2021 is built upon the idea that there is an alternate dimension, consisting of a wasteland populated by bad, bad people, who wants to invade our world. The Gods, however, have determined that they will only allow the bad guys to invade Earth if they beat 10 Mortal Kombat tournaments in a row. The Earth and the Outerworld will periodically send their best champions and have them kill each other for this tournament, apparently because the Gods want an spectacle with which to eat popcorn or something. Ok, I can understand that.
The bad guys have won 9 tournaments already and Earth is about to be fucked up very hard by the forces of darkness. Specially, because the leader of the evil dudes has decided he wants no fair tournament this time and has decided to send assassins to destroy Earth's chosen champions before they even know they are supposed to fight in the tournament.
Yeah, you obviously need some bourbon to enjoy a plot like that, but it has a chance of working.
The initial scene is a blast. The ninja kung-fu fighting is quite well done for a 2021 film, it is dramatic, there are geisers of blood and the bad guy is beliveably evil. I was watching this movie with my mother, and she told me "I thought you had told me this movie was going to be horrible, but it is quite good so far!"
5 minutes after the intro ended and she pronnounced such words, she retracted: "Ok, this movie is bad."
It is hard to point out what fails. I think the main reason is the primary protagonist is a loser who, while not burdersome, is not as likeable as he needs to be. The film also moves slowly for a good while until it picks up speed again, which is unacceptable from a film that is promising us tons of breathtaking non-stop action. The way the plot reveals itself is naive at times, with some character acting as Mrs. Exposition for things that would have been better discovered dynamically as the story advanced.
When the fights come, they are usually fine to good. An issue I have, though, is that the fights feel a bit impersonal. Classic martial arts movies are done in such a way that each fight takes place one after the other, so each one of them feels meaningful. Many of the fights take place simultaneously in Mortal Kombat 2021, and you get alternating scenes cycling among the ones happening, so you end up loosing focus on each. It works but it is less than perfect.
One thing the movie gets right, though, is that characters are culturally adecuate. The Japanesse fighters speak Japanesse and know no word of Chinesse. Chinesse fighters speak some Chinesse dialect and could not speak a word of English for the lives of them. Thankfuly, the language barrier is just for color: violence is a language everybody understands, and every fighter knows what a dagger in an eye means, which allows them all to find a common language to speak quite early on.
Being based on a videogame franchise, the film features countless references to the original material. In my opinion, they are badly introduced for the most part. You may expect the regular quotes, such as "Test Your Might," "$fighter Wins," "Flawless Victory," or "Fatality!" However, they feel badly shoehorned. This is specially bad when some Japanesse kombatant screams "Come Over Here!" despite the fact he only speaks Japanesse and no English.
That said, if the Mortal Kombat games are known for something, it is for being repentless blood orgies that would make Khorne the Blood God look like an amateur. You can expect the fatalities (gory moves used in the videogames to kill people) to be as cheesy and brutal as in your Xbox. Cutting people in half from head to toes is in the list, as is crushing heads barehanded and making gigantic holes in fighters' chests. If you find there is tomato shortage in your country, it is because they used all the tomatoes to make this film.
Sadly, I think comical carnage only gets you so far and the film does not have much else to offer. The movie has a spike of great goodness near the end because the last fight is as awesome as the first one, but by that point it is a bit too late to save the film from mediocrity. Also, the fact the end is shameless sequel-bait is worse than lame: it is quadriplegic. Thumbs down for that.
Still the worst thing this movie has going for it is that it failed to feature the main music theme from the original movie, which EVERY FAN WAS EXPECTING, using a club remix that doesn't cut it instead.
Therefore, my opinion is that Mortal Kombat 2021 not only fails to be better than the original, but ends up overshadowed by it.
Maybe the problem is that I should have taken something stronger than Jack Daniels to enjoy it.
--
gopher://gopher.richardfalken.com/1/richardfalken
---
� Synchronet � Palantir BBS * palantirbbs.ddns.net * Pensacola, FL