Hello moviegoers! Since Woman's day has recenltly passed-by, I have decided to review
a (kind of) feminazi movie!
Red Sonja in the film you get when you want to produce Conan III, but you no longer
have the license for the character. For all effects and purposes, this is a Conan
movie and has everything you may expect from such a film. If you expect anything at
all, that's it.
The opening scene already make it clear that you should expect absolutely nothing from
this film. I am thankful for the honestly, actually.
Red Sonja is a flick that follows the titular character, a red-haired female warrior,
as she tries to take revenge from queen Gedren, the psychopathic lesbian tyrant who
got her family murdered and her raped. Gedren has seized control of the Talisman,
which is a McGuffin that allows its wielder to destroy things with thunderstorms and
earthquakes. Aiding her is Conan... I mean, Kaildor... sorry for the mistake, but it
is an easy one to make since they got Schwarzenegger to do the role, ok? In any case,
both of them make are to make their way to Gedren's palace chopping heads off left and
right.
The feminazi element is not quite strong, actually, and I have no reason to think it
is caused by politics rather than by artistic decision. Red Sonja is a bit misandric
at times, won't elope with any man unless he defeats him in fair combat, and has to
face some denigrant situations ("You don't need to purchase safe passage with money.
You can fuck me for it").
The action, fights and swordplay are ok. Heroes and villians hack each other with
shinning ton-foil swords for our delight, the stabbing and slashing is dynamic. It
would work better if the rocks on stage didn't look like painted foam models, though.
The plot is so thin that you need to place a paperweight on it, should a gust of wind
lift it and take it away. Not that it would make much of a difference. In the end of
the day, it is the standard adventure script in which the heroes walk their way from a
location to another, finding random non-related encounters they have to overcome in
their way.
All in all, a film you can watch but won't remember long after you have watched it.
Just keep the bourbon flowing in order to help you better understand it.
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